1. |
Summer
03:56
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Summer is beautiful
I wanna go
On a long yellow drive
To the end of the road
Where the sunsets like butter
slippin down warm toast
Summer is beautiful
Perfectly made
For the snowcone stained children
And lovers in lakes
On a warm summer evening
In the middle of June
Words sound like honey
Dripping off of a spoon
And the silvery silence
A mirror of the moon
I am the moth
Circling the porch light
Will you stay with me till morning
Will you give me just this night
But you just kiss my forehead
And say you have to go
And I feel like lukewarm water
And I feel like nothing at all
So I’ll just drive around
The blueing suburban streets
Trying hard not to think of how
The houses all repeat
And the stripmalls
And the phone calls
That are waiting for me
When I get home
Summer is beautiful
The air grows hot and sweet
Something bound to happen
Ain't that summers guarantee
So how come every summer
I get so damn lonely
How come every summer
I get so damn lonely
How come every summer
I get so damn lonely
How come
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2. |
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I can’t believe
I’m standing here again
All I guys I meet
Just lead to dead ends
And all the girls I’ve wanted
Never had a clue
And probably don’t bat for my team
Even If they knew
I’ve felt like a mountain
I have felt like a mouse
I’ve heard poison words
Fall out of my mouth
But I can swallow my pride
And apologize
If you give me half a chance
I will try
but let me tell you
I don’t know how to be sweet
I don’t know how to play a cool girl fantasy
And affection’s two directions not just a one way street
I’m just not that sweet
Cause my heart gets scared and sometimes shows its teeth
But If I’m yours I will love you honestly
So who cares about being sweet
Tried to be softer
More digestible
Diet versions of myself
Terrified of feeling full
I’ve squeezed these hips
Into someone else’s jeans
And I have said I’m sorry
When I didn’t need to be
I curse when I’m angry
Shit, I curse when I’m not
I’ve come off too cold
And I’ve come on too hot
So if we meet eyes
From across some crowded room
I ain’t ever gonna try to hide the truth
I’m just not that sweet
I don’t know how to play a cool girl fantasy
And affection’s two directions not just a one way street
Just not that sweet
Cause my heart gets scared and sometimes shows its teeth
But If I’m yours I will love you honestly
So who cares about being sweet
Who cares about being sweet
I’m just not that sweet
My heart gets scared and sometimes shows its teeth
If I’m yours I will love you honestly
If I’m yours I’ll give you all of me
So who cares about being sweet
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3. |
Driving
02:57
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I always know when she’s drinking to forget
Her breath stained with regret
White wine trash TV shows
I always know when she passes out
Her lungs catch heavy and loud
Tuck the blanket under her chin
Put her to bed and then
I go driving
To the dusty side of town
I go driving
Past the factories shuttered down
And I keep telling myself
Gonna get out of this house
But I always
Turn the car around
Turn the car around
I never know what version of him
I’ll get when I walk in
Counting steps on the hardwood floors
My stomach twists the kitchen buzzes hot
As he yells about the things I’m not
Crashing like the pots and pans
Grab my keys again
I go driving
To where the roads runs out
I go driving
Underneath the midnight clouds
And I don’t know if I’m ever
Gonna get out of this house
Cause I always
Turn the car around
Turn the car around
Turn the car around
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4. |
For Me It's You
03:56
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It’s just a harmless little feeling
That ebbs and it flows
At the brush of your skin
It flickers and glows
Everyone has a person they sing their love songs to
For me it’s you
No one makes me sunny
or paints my world warm
Like you when you catch my eye
I wish you’d catch it a little more
Everyone has a dream they know probably won’t come true
For me it’s you
You tell me you’re tired
Of weary lonely nights
I just hold my smile
And open the door
I’m not who you’re aching for
She’s wrapped her smile
Around you like a noose
Watch from my drink
As you forget everything else in the room
Everyone has a person who’ll never feel the way they do
For me it's you
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5. |
Lonely Tonight
02:56
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I’m feeling lonely tonight
I’m feeling blue
I don’t want to sing for strangers
I wanna to talk to you
It’s been a long empty day
Nothing much here to do
You feel much further away
Than I wanted you to
Twilight is climbing the sky
You said you’d call me at five
The shadows grow long in my room
air is heavy with the silence from you
I’m feeling lonely tonight
I’m feeling blue
I’m feeling sorry for poor little me
Oh what else is new
I’m writing endings
and we’ve only just begun
But I’m feeling lonely tonight
Maybe I’m the only one
I’m feeling lonely tonight
Maybe I’m the only one
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6. |
Whiplash
02:47
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I’ve been trying
to swallow the sun
I’ve been running from the morning every night
The seasons cycle through in their colors
And I’m somewhere between a woman and a child
I’ve been having dreams
Where I am flying
Flying underneath the prairie moon
The wheat stretches out like an ocean
I know I won’t be coming home soon
I am dizzy
With my memories
And the feeling of time spinning past
I’ve got whiplash
But the cars won’t slow
No they only continue to crash
I had a man
he thought himself a cowboy
But cowboys are supposed to be brave
And he went running off
like a coyote
Running with his tail between his legs
He’s probably downtown
drinking up the neon
Pouring his best line into her glass
Smiling a smile
He saw in a movie
Cardboard charms are not built to last
I am dizzy
With my memories
The feeling of time spinning past
I’ve got whiplash
But the cars won’t slow
They only continue to crash
I am dizzy
With my memories
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7. |
Trying
03:20
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Trying to be fine alone
With TV for company
Friends on the telephone
Shadows grow and turn the walls navy blue
Trying not to give in into
All the emotions I still feel for you
The way I can’t touch you
The way you don’t call
Even now
I’m alone in my hometown
My high school graduation gown
Stares me down
All the photos on the wall
All the dreams I had when I was small
Are bringing me to tears tonight
I took for granted most years of life
I take for granted most things in my life
Trying to be good to me
Apologizing to my body
I’ve been so mean and she’s fighting
To keep me alive
Trying not to give in to
Grieving all I have yet to lose
And the sadness in my chest
Stealing air out of my life
Back here in my hometown
My high school graduation gown
Stares me down
All the photos on the wall
All the dreams I had when I was small
Are bringing me to tears tonight
I took for granted most years of life
I take for granted most things in my life
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8. |
Homesick
03:56
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The ache of afternoon glow
Touches the sycamores
The place the birds sing for
What a beautiful party
These people talk the same
Drinking stars in their champagne
But deep in my coat pockets
I find that old familiar feeling
Homesick
Homesick
The city opens her palm
And we hit all the greens
Burning gasoline
I feel young and kind of pretty
In your drivers seat
With a place to be
But my mind is far from a skyline
On that old familiar back road
Homesick
Homesick
Homesick for a home I don’t have
Heartsick for a life I can never get back
Homesick for a home I don’t have
Heartsick for a life I can never, never get back
So I board a silver plane
And chase the sunsets down
Making canyons in the clouds
But packed away in my suitcase
What I didn’t mean to bring
That old familiar feeling
Homesick
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9. |
Relief
03:05
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I gotta get out of this city
It’s wearing holes in all of my clothes
Taking the heart out of me,
Taking the heart out of me
I haven’t done much smiling
Just catch my train and avoid the gaze
Of someone I might know
Someone I might know
Cause there’s somewhere I need to be
Always someone waiting on me
I’ve been walking
Too damn much
Pounding the pavement
Losing touch
Ride four stops and ride home again
Use my grocery money to pay my rent
I’m so weary
But I just can’t sleep
Just can’t get no relief
Just can’t get no relief
It’s another working Sunday
I’m spilling on shoes, wiping down the booths
Cleaning the messes I make
All the messes I make
And table two looks pissed
But I got six other ones and no one to cover 'em
I do what I can
I just do what I can
Cause there’s somewhere I need to be
Always someone waiting on me
I’ve been walking
Too damn much
Pounding the pavement
Losing touch
Ride four stops and ride home again
Use my grocery money to pay my rent
I’m so weary
But I just can’t sleep
Just can’t get no relief
Just can’t get no relief
Oh I’ve been walking
Too damn much
Pounding the pavement
Losing touch
Ride four stops and ride home again
Use my grocery money to pay my rent
So weary
But I just can’t sleep
Just can’t get no relief
Just can’t get no relief
Just can’t get no relief
Just can’t get no relief
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10. |
Kinder to Myself
03:34
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I am learning
to be kinder to myself
It’s the hardest thing I’ve had to do
Let my heart at once beat red
And once beat blue
Give my love away
Even if no one calls my name
I am learning to be kinder to myself
I am learning
to leave well enough alone
If he wants to talk, he will call
Won’t let silence turn this sweetness back to salt
It’ll be alright
Even with every lonely night
I am learning to be kinder to myself
It’ll take some time
To slow the circles in my mind
To feel what must be felt
Forgive the card that I’ve been dealt
I am learning
I am more than my pain
And I deserve someone who’s good for me
Even on the days when my heart disagrees
I can take my love away
Cause even if he is calling my name
I am learning to be kinder to myself
I am learning to be kinder to myself
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11. |
One Last Time
04:57
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If I could see you one last time
Could I change your mind
Keep your breath in my lungs
My name on your tongue
Keep the stars aligned
If I could see you one last time
Not sure what I would say
I think I could have loved you, I was ready to
but it didn’t work out that way
The last time that I saw you
Standing in my doorway
You kissed me so gentle
I think I knew somehow
You’d never stay
I was only a time and a place
If I could see you one last time
What difference would it make
Sometimes love gives what we want
Sometimes it just takes
The last time that I saw you
Standing in my doorway
You kissed me so gentle
I think I knew somehow
You’d never stay
I was only a time and a place
If I could see you one last time
What difference would it make
Sometimes love gives what we want
Sometimes it just takes
Oh sometimes love gives what we want
Sometimes it takes
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